Yes, I Think I Will Add Bacon

Remember when MTV used to actually show music videos? Yeah, me neither. It feels like the Food Network has fallen into the same trap. Prime-time on the Food Network is now about "reality" shows and various competitions involving some manner of cooking or decorating or a combination thereof. The actual cooking shows have been banished to the Cooking Channel, which is outside of my cable package range.

That said, the one reality-style show I do enjoy on the Food Network is "Chopped" (competitors must create meals using an atypical mix of mystery ingredients revealed just seconds before cooking) because it is Iron Chef-esque, but without the abuse of hundreds of dollars in truffles. Plus, there is a dessert round and the frequent use of bacon.

Mary had the phenomenal idea of creating a Chopped-style mystery-box of four ingredients for my dad for Father's Day. We spent the better part of an hour wandering around Whole Foods as we figured they would have the highest concentration of "weird" food to choose from. We walked out with: canned hominy, orange cauliflower, enoki mushrooms, and freeze-dried french fries.  Hominy is made from corn, but if you look at the ingredient list on the side of the can, the only ingredient of hominy, is hominy. So, thanks for that. Orange cauliflower is pretty self explanatory, enoki mushrooms are skinny, tall mushrooms without much else going on for them, and the french fries had the shape of a fry, but the crunch of a potato chip.

Usually, the contestants are given 20 minutes to create a meal using all of the mystery basket ingredients, but since it was Father's Day, we allowed 20 hours.

The end result: a chowder using a puree of hominy and roasted cauliflower, with the mushrooms as garnish.

It tasted great and was a solid start to hopefully a series of these mystery-basket challenges. 

In other delicious news, the Organic Brewer's Festival was this last weekend. The weather was perfect, and there were less people this year walking around with their shirts off who shouldn't have been than last year, which was a welcome sight. One of the highlights from the brewfest last year was the discovery of elephants toes: a very miniaturized version of elephant ears. We found the same food truck this year, and to our delight, there was a sign on the side of the truck proclaiming: "Add bacon to any item: 50 cents." Well, we figured (correctly) that the only way to make fried dough covered in sugar and cinnamon better is to add bacon.

The food truck lady thought we didn't know what we were doing when we ordered the elephant toes with bacon. Please lady, we're trained professionals.

Now that I think about it, I believe the last music video I saw on MTV was Limp Bizkit's "Nookie", which would have put the year at... 1999. Yikes.

--Isaac.

Food Fight!: Stuffed French Toast

Mary and I recently had a relaxing weekend in Bend, Oregon with two of our friends (Charlotte and Drew) in which we spent half the time eating, half the time drinking, and the third half sleeping.

When Mary caught wind that Drew was planning on making some sort of stuffed french toast for breakfast on one of the mornings, she issued a challenge, and Food Fight!: Stuffed French Toast was on.
 
Just like any serious and legitimate competition, this Food Fight had an official drink sponsor: The Bloody Mary:

And of course that would be bacon in the Bloody Mary. There is a pickle in there as well, but it is just not as good at swimming.Yes it was all delicious, and yes, it is going to happen again immediately, if not sooner.

Fueled by protein and vodka, the combatants got underway...

Mary was up to bat first with her Banana and Peanut Butter Stuffed French Toast:

Peanut butter and banana is a fantastic combo, nobody can deny that. And if you try to deny it, well, then you're just misunderstanding your own opinion. The key secret ingredient Mary used in the egg batter coating was rum.  Fortunately, she did not employ the cooking method of "one shot for the batter, two for me...". I mean, it was only 11am still.

Drew chose a solid recipe as well with his Bacon and Cream Cheese Stuffed French Toast:

He crimped the edges of the french toast "ravioli style" to lock in that gooey-cheesy-bacony awesome. I barely had time to take the above picture before Mary finished polishing it off in record time, so it must have tasted adequate. No longer will mankind have to search in two places at the breakfast table for their bacon and their french toast.

Charlotte and I were the judges, and after not wanting to get in trouble with our respective significant others by not voting for them much debate, we declared a tie. Yes, anticlimactic and lame, but really, the only losers in this contest were the billions of people not in the kitchen eating breakfast with us. However, since people like awards: Mary won "Best Use of Rum", and Drew won "Best Use of Bacon". Trophies are in the mail.

Full disclosure though: Mary probably should have won on a technicality before the Food Fight even got started as Drew forgot to get milk...and bread...and so had to borrow Mary's. Yes, he forgot to bring bread to a french toast cook-off. Must have been day dreaming of eating bacon or something.

--Isaac.

Almond Is My Catnip

If you have ever seen a cat trippin on the 'nip, then you have a pretty good idea of what happens when I come in contact with almond flavoring. If I could wrap almond flavoring around me like a blanket and then submerge myself in a tub full, I would.

And now, with the power of marzipan, I can.

I have always liked the look of a cake decorated with fondant, and have been looking for a good reason to try my hand at this level of cake decorating for a while now, so while it was raining outside all throughout Memorial Day weekend, I was inside baking.

A friend of ours recently had a combination birthday/new business office open house and I wanted to make a cake for the occasion.  I knew that I wanted to attempt a fondant-style decorated cake, but, frankly, fondant sucks from a flavor standpoint. Marzipan is the way to go because it handles essentially the same as fondant, and tastes only about a million times better as it is traditionally made with almonds and almond extract. Marzipan is supposed to be dipped in chocolate and eaten like candy, fondant is just for show, so it is really a no-brainer.

The open house was on Thursday, so I wanted to practice making the marzipan beforehand just in case things went awry.  While making the "practice marzipan", Mary asked if I could make something for her coworkers as they had to work on Memorial Day, so my "practice marzipan" turned into an entire "practice cake". A "two-layer, devils food with marionberry filing practice cake".

It turned out awesome, and got rave reviews from Mary's coworkers, except for the one guy who didn't think to check for toothpicks before eating.

The second cake for the combo birthday/office open house was essentially indentical underneath the hood, just a different paint job:

The logo was based on the business logo...

...and was successfully delivered despite an uncooperating rainstorm to the happily surprised birthday recipient:

All the baking pros on YouTube make draping and shaping marzipan around a cake look easy. Shams and lies. Guess I'll just have to keep practicing on more cakes..

Now I just need to find some 50 gallon drums of almond extract, and you'll never hear from me again.

--Isaac