Orange Rolls

We recently took Mary's cousin's son to a Blazer game for his 10th birthday. When we asked him if we could make him something special for breakfast, he said "orange rolls." To which we both replied..."What the hell are orange rolls?"  Turns out that they are cinnamon rolls, but orange instead of cinnamon. We probably should have figured that one out ourselves instead of consulting Teh Internetz.  They looked a little something like this, hot out of the oven:

We're talking Soft n' Fluffy. Supreme.

So if you already knew what orange rolls were, then you already know of the majesty, and you're probably smarter than me. If not, you just learned your one new thing of the day. So you're welcome.

--Isaac

Leftovers of a Different Kind

ReUsually holiday leftovers involve turkey and mashed potatoes. But I didn't cook turkey or mashed potatoes, I baked pies. As a result, I got the opportunity to play everyone's favorite game: "Pie Leftover Mix-n-Match Extravaganza!" with my leftover pumpkin pie filling, pie crust, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. My winning responses:

Mini pumpkin pie tarts...

Pumpkin pie mousse-ish...

Dark chocolate raspberry tart thingys...

Win.

--Isaac

Accounting Thanksgiving

Each year, the crazy accountants of Pacific University get together for a Thanksgiving dinner. The first was in Fall 2006 when we decided we'd rather cook a full Thanksgiving feast and bring it all to class instead of actually learn anything that day. I made 6 pies the day before, three each of pumpkin and apple. Needless to say, there were leftovers. Every year since then I've been in charge of making the pies. This Fall marked our 5th anniversary of Accounting Thanksgiving.

In attendance was the every popular apple pie...

The classic Thanksgiving pumpkin pie that started as these...

And finished as this...

And my second ever attempt at a pecan pie...

This pie is best viewed upside-down apparently. I guess it was just too much to ask to have all the pie pictures be imported correctly. Especially since the three prior worked out just fine.

The pecan pie turned out only a million times better than the first one I made, especially since there is still nothing wrong with sugar and pecans baked into a pie crust. Nope, nothing wrong there.

--Isaac.

Waffle Sandwich (with bacon!)

After giving in to the the temptation of a nutella and organic raspberry jam waffle at a downtown waffle cart after a disheartening Blazer loss, we felt that the only proper thing to do to follow up a delicious waffle was to eat more delicious waffles. And since you are reading this and I am writing this, you can probably infer with a fair amount of certainty that that was exactly what we did. Since we went sweet with the vendor grub, we went savory back home. Behold, the majesty:

The waffle was my first attempt at a Liege-style waffle, meaning that the waffle was made with waffle dough instead of a more typical batter. Once the waffle dough is allowed to rise, you fold in the sugar so that it caramelizes on the exterior of the waffle as it cooks, creating a sweet and very crispy exterior and a pillowy soft interior. In short - it is awesome.

To complete the sandwich, I cooked up some black forest bacon, cut as thick as a 2 x 4, layered on some deli turkey and havarti cheese, canceled my previous appointments, turned the phone off, threw the Do Not Disturb sign on the front door, and had at it.

Two points for bacon. And infinity billion points for waffles.

--Isaac.

Giving Thanks Through Our Stomachs

Thanksgiving: where eating until you can't move is encouraged, and very possibly even mandatory in some areas.

Our contributions to the family feast this year were cardamom bread (via Isaac)....

 

....and cranberry sauce, three ways (via Mary)....

The three flavors pictured are: jalapeno-tequila, jagermeister-peach schnapps, and the classic traditional variety, sans booze. If you have a scratch and sniff enabled computer monitor, then you'll have no problem telling which one is which. If not, I recommend the upgrade.

--Isaac

The Pumpkinocalypse Has Begun

If October was official pork month, then the entire 4th quarter of the year should be devoted to pumpkins. Since the last week of October, pumpkins have been sacrificed and then reborn in my kitchen as the following:

• Pumpkin muffins,
• Pumpkin scones,
• Pumpkin pancakes,
• Pumpkin soup,
• Pumpkin cookies
• Pumpkin bread 
• Pumpkin on a stick
• Pumpkin spread on cardboard
• Pumpkin and trout

So tonight, I wanted to A) use pumpkin in a savory dish for dinner, and B) knock it off with the small scale baked goods and go for the gold with a pumpkin pie.

The end result tonight was Penne with Andouille in a Pumpkin Sauce:

Enlarged to show awesomeness

I kinda just subbed pumpkin into a tomato-based sauce, replaced the Italian herbs with more "fall/Thanksgiving/pumpkin" appropriate spices, and added zesty Andouille sausage.

And then, the pie:

'Nuff said about that.

I had been using canned pumpkin puree, but I just ran across sweet baking pumpkins at Whole Foods, so it looks like there is little hope in sight for the end of the Great Fall Pumpkin Massacre of Aught Ten.

--Isaac

PS: I tried a sample of cranberry white cheddar cheese during the previously discussed trip to Whole Foods, and it was FANtastic. I recommend you go get some right now for your cereal tomorrow morning.

The Finale

I somehow reached the end of the pork shoulder. It put up a valiant effort, but in the end, it was no match for my knife and a total of 32 hours in a slow cooker.

Halloween always meant a number of things growing up:

• Candy,
• Costumes,
• Steady rain for the next nine months,
• Football TV broadcasts highlighting all the fans wearing costumes, and
• Chili!

All good things (except that rain one), but only one pairs well with 2+ pounds of pork shoulder. What I'm trying to get at here is that I made chili. Lots. Lots of Halloween Chili.

I didn't wrap the last piece of shoulder in the spice rub overnight before cooking it. Can't say why exactly. Just didn't feel like it, or I forgot, or I wanted to do something different than the previous two hunks-o-pork.

After cooking the pork, I shredded the meaty goodness, and added in the veggies for another eight hour beauty nap.

After chanting the magic words... Halloween Chili.

It was scary good... or maybe even spooktacular...ok, negative points awarded for Halloween puns. But the chili was still full of win. And pork. And more win. But mostly pork.

Hooray for October being National Pork Month. That was awesome and delicious. I think next month is going to be National Anything-But-Pork Month. 

--Isaac

Pecan Pie

Well, with my first attempt at a pecan pie, I got high marks from the judges in the taste category (which is really the important part), but the pie was a little runny.  According to the ever knowing "internetz", a runny pecan pie is a common first time mistake, so I don't feel that foolish.

Fortunately, the crust was excellent, and the pie itself was made from the best stuff on Earth. You know. Sugar. I hear it's some good stuff.

Pecan Pie: Part Deux will be much more "pie like" and less "thick-candied-pecan-soup-baked-inside-a-flaky-pie-crust."

--Isaac

Breakfast Pot Pie

While filling out my chef bio, it became clear why bacon is superior to pie – versatility. Where is the breakfast pie? I’m not talking about quiche (clearly not worthy of being associated with pie) or eating a slice of fruit pie for breakfast (as my husband is known to do), but a proper pie crust, filled breakfast foods.  Behold, the breakfast pot pie!

The cast assembles

The idea was to create a pot pie filled with ham, potatoes, onions, peppers and hollandaise sauce, topped with an over easy egg – essentially eggs Benedict reconstructed. I created a hash of sorts with the cubed ham, potatoes, onions and peppers while the bottom pie crusts baked.

I then filled the crusts, and topped with the hollandaise sauce:

They were topped with crust and baked for about 10 minutes.

The pièce de résistance – an egg sunny side up.  Breakfast pie is served:

--Mary

Bonus Content - actual conversation that took place when Isaac was looking at the above pictures and realized he didn't drink any orange juice with breakfast that morning:

Isaac: Hey, where’d the orange juice go?

Mary: Oh... it was for presentation purposes only. The container was actually full of mold…

Isaac: Oh that’s gross.

Mary: … and definitely not suitable for human consumption.

Always Save Room for Pie

Especially pumpkin pie. It is a proven fact that the size of the fall leaf decoration topping is directionally proportional to the pie's overall awesomeness. True fact, look it up... but give me a couple minutes to log in to Wikipedia and update some things completely unrelated to my recent assertion...

It's a pumpkin's dream come true.

Thanks to my Dad for submitting this pie! But the joke is on you: I'll be knocking on your door for a slice in..........now.

--Isaac

Ode to Pork Continues...

Part two of our three-part celebration of pork continues this week with Carnitas Tacos! This time, I started with a more carnitas-appropriate rub about 24 hours before my scheduled cooking session. The next day, I loaded the pork in the magical slow-cooker along with ample amounts of fresh squeezed lime juice, cilantro, and tequila (yay!):

And in less time than it takes to correctly pronounce the name of the Icelandic city of Kirkjubæjarklaustur...

Carnitas. With yellow, orange and poblano peppers.

Topped with homemade guacamole and more cilantro and then folded up in a homemade corn tortilla...

I'd pay many ones of dollars for a plate full of these any day. Not only were the tacos delicious, but they were different enough from the barbecue pulled pork from last week that it does not seem like this is the second week in a row of pork-dominated meals. I think that is a culinary achievement in itself.  The guacamole was easily some of the best yet, too. I would have been content just to sit down with a spoon and a bowl of that guac. Maybe I will for Avacado Appreciation Day or something. Adios!

--Isaac

October is Pork Month!

So to celebrate...

Bam. Seven pounds of pork shoulder. Literally pork month - because we'll be eating it for a month. Every day. Which is a-okay by me.

I felt the first way to honor what seemed like a metric ton of pork was to make some classic pulled-pork sandwiches.  I carved off a third (since I don't think there isn't a slow cooked big enough for that whole thing to fit in) slathered it in dry rub, and wrapped it up to sit overnight in the fridge.

Some twelve to fourteen hours later...

...it was ready for eight hours in a slow cooker:

Tender perfection. The second best part of this creation (second to actually eating the pork of course), was coming home to the awesome smell of the shoulder cooking away after having just watched my Niners solidify a month of disappointment with a fourth straight loss. But that is another blog...back to food.

The final product:

Finished with homemade barbecue sauce and homemade coleslaw, this was right about 24 hours in the making and very well worth it.

Two and a half pounds of pork shoulder down and about five to go... booyah.

One final side note: it is also apparently "National Vegetarian Awareness Month". So for all you herbivores, the BBQ sauce on top of the coleslaw is delicious in itself. Plus it means more pulled pork for me.

--Isaac

Baking Week Oh-Ten

I figured the best way to start this off was to bake everything in sight and make the oven cry.

For "Baking Week Oh-Ten", I first started off with everyone's favorite: Bagels! I took the easy route on this endeavor ("easy" considering I was making bagels from scratch) by mixing and kneading the dough in the bread machine. Two hours of T.V./random internet surfing later, I was shaping the dough into discs and then punching a hole in the middle to create the classic bagel/doughnut shape.

This all seemed on the straight and narrow until the actual baking/cooking process began. First, I baked the bagels, then boiled them, then baked them again. The first round of baking firmed up the bagels so they would be easier to boil. Once the pot of water got up to something between a simmer and a light boil (if that is such a term), I dropped the bagels in:

Who first thought it was a good idea to put partially baked bread into boiling water anyway? Not surprising, you know what happens when you add bread to water? That is correct, they get soggy. I now had a dozen soggy, very hot, partially cooked bagels (and some slightly scalded finger tips). Pretty ridiculous and unappetizing. The whole point of this step though is that it is the boiling process that gives bagels that awesome dense and chewy center. The longer the bagels are boiled, the more dense they will become, while just quick swim in the hot tub will allow the bagels to rise a bit more as they bake the second time in the over, resulting in less dense bread.

After the relaxing soak, it was time for the second bake. The end result: bageliciousness.

Not going to win any bagel beauty pageants at this point, but so, so, so very tasty.

The next three items were developed in a very roundabout way, so stay with me here.  I had to give a presentation at work at 9am about how to use our fixed asset software (generally yawn inducing).  We usually joke at work about how our training/education classes would be better with booze (because they would be). So using adult breakfast-style beverages as an inspiration, I set out to create Bloody Mary Muffins and a Tequila Sunrise Scones! (insert grandiose fanfare!)

The base of the bloody Mary Muffins was a tomato muffin recipe I found online that I modified to fit my theme as it called for Parmesan cheese and various spices that didn't fit in with the flavor profile I was going for. Once the muffins were cool, I topped them with a vodka and Tabasco Sauce powder sugar glaze and garnished with a small slice of celery and some fresh cracked pepper.

It turned out exactly how I envisioned it, and as far as I can tell, nobody else has come up with this yet, so here you have it: The World Premier of the Bloody Mary Muffin!

The Tequila Sunrise Scone was not as crazy as the muffins, but equally as awesome.  I used a basic scone recipe, but added the zest of one entire orange and then pulverized and added the rest of the orange too.  For a topping, I created a powder sugar glaze with tequila and orange juice. Very orange-y with a hint of tequila and, most important: very delicious.

There are some margarita flavor bakery items floating out there, but no scones from what I have seen. So once again, I'm calling it right here, right now: World's First Tequila Sunrise Scone. Bam. Batting 1.000.

And since I didn't think the muffins and scones were enough, and I waned to punish my oven just a little more, I decided on some Apple Pear Turnovers to round out the evening. The inspiration behind this was just looking around my kitchen and seeing what all I had available. Turned out it was some apples, pears and frozen puff pastry. So I diced up the apples and pears, added sugar, spices and flour to create a filling, rolled out the dough, and made some turnovers.  To spruce the pastries up a notch, I topped the turnovers with a cinnamon maple buttercream frosting, which was good enough to eat by the spoonful out of the bowl.

Not a world premier here, but I'm still giving myself points for it tasting just so damn good. Booyah.

In the end, my back hurt, flour covered everything, my oven didn't want to play anymore, and I used every mixing bowl I had - twice.  Oh, and the baked goods came out perfect, much to my enjoyment. De-freakin-lish.

So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed reading this first food shenanigan installment!

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